Jacob
by twilightscallingme
Summary: What if Alice never came back? What if Jacob never left and Bella had just one more second and turned her head and pressed her lips against Jacob's shoulder? Oneshot. JakexBella


Stephenie Meyer owns all of the rights, obviously.

_Jake pressed his warm cheek against the top of my hair._

_If I turned my face to the side – if I pressed my lips against his bare shoulder... I knew without a doubt exactly what would follow. It would be very easy. There would be no need for explanations tonight._

_But could I do it? Could I betray my absent heart to save my pathetic life?_

_Butterflies assaulted my stomach as I thought about turning my head._

_And then, as clearly as if I were in immediate danger, Edward's velvet voice whispered in my ear._

"_Be happy," he told me._

– New Moon, page 376.

&&&

I closed my eyes one last time and took a breath. _'This is for you, Edward,'_ I thought as I pressed my warm, soft lips against Jacob's even warmer shoulder. I felt him tense slightly, then he kissed the top of my head again, pulling gently on my hair; I could tell that he was wrapping it around his finger.

"Bella?" Jacob's husky voice murmured my name, and I pulled my head off his shoulder slowly.

"Yeah?" I replied, casting my eyes down at the floor of the car. I couldn't bring myself to look at him. I was so ashamed for what I'd done. '_This is what you get for listening to that voice in your head that you randomly started to hear, Bella,'_ I scolded myself.

He gently tipped my chin up with his forefinger. I felt my breath catch in my throat. He brought his soft, warm lips against mine. I smiled into the kiss – my heart felt more there than it had in a long time – but I pulled away gently after a second or two.

"Sorry, I just thought–" Jacob started, but I cut him off.

"No, let me explain," I pleaded, holding my hands up to silence him. I could tell that I had his full, undivided attention. I paused for a short moment to rearrange my thoughts; I had to let him know that I wasn't completely there.

"Jacob, if I told you that there was a way for me to love you... would you take it?"

"Yes," he said without missing a beat.

"But," I added slowly. "I can't... I can't love you like I loved... Edward." I flinched as I said that name. Jacob nodded slowly and reached out a hand to wrap around mine. I felt comforted and able to proceed with what I had to tell him. "I – I – I love you, Jake. Nothing like I loved Edward. A part of me is dead, Jake. I can't give you that part of my heart. But there's a part of my heart that lives when I'm with you.

"I... I want you to know everything before you make your decision, Jacob," I held up a finger to silence his moving lips. He hadn't made a sound, but he was about to. "This is the best love that I can give to you. I'm trying so hard. You make me feel better; you're too good for me, Jacob. I don't deserve the love that you can offer me. You deserve far more than a torn girl who loves your mortal enemy.

"Jake, did you ever wonder why the motorcycle? Why the cliff diving?" I paused as he nodded his head quickly. His warm eyes were still searching mine. I took a deep breath, but I didn't have to cross my arms over my chest this time. "I hear his voice in my head. When I'm about to do something dangerous. He gets mad at me – tries to talk me out of it. But this is right, Jake. He would want me to do this. He spoke to me just now; he told me to 'be happy', as if I remember what that is," I snorted. "But you help me remember," I added sincerely.

"I never thought that I would be happy ever again... not after he left. I couldn't love, I couldn't eat, I wasn't myself... you know how I was. I'm so sorry that I can't give you all of me. Jacob, is what I have to offer enough?"

I looked at him with pleading eyes. I knew how pathetic I looked. I knew how pathetic I sounded. I had just admitted to hearing voices – for God's sake! I tugged gently at Jake's hand, waiting for an answer. What was the worst he could say? No? That might kill me, but I'd keep on living - for Charlie.

"Bella, you're crazy," Jacob muttered. At first, I took these words the wrong way; how could he care for a crazy person?

The next moment, however, his lips were on mine once again.

"Be happy," the velvet voice echoed in my head.

'_I am_,' was the silent reply.


End file.
